Session Rate: $80/hour + Travel Fee for Outcalls
If you’re looking for a simple and fulfilling way to upgrade your self-care routine, you’ve come to the right place! Let’s work together to find the best source of comfort and healing for you in a safe, nurturing, playful environment.
Hi, everyone! I’m Alyssa, and I currently live in Orange County, CA. As a Cuddlist practitioner, I help people learn to identify and meet their emotional needs and improve their overall mental and physical health through exploring different kinds of platonic, affectionate, physical touch. I’ve felt called to this profession since first learning about its existence, and that feeling has only increased with all I’ve learned and experienced since deciding to join the touch therapy movement. I have always found the most fulfillment in being able to help others directly, especially when I can get to know them and learn about their individual needs. I understand the importance of platonic, affectionate physical human contact for overall health and well-being both physically and psychologically. I know that, quite often, just having another person completely mentally present with you, offering a safe, non-judgmental environment, can be a source of immense comfort. In the current state of our culture and society, the resources to meet this simple need are often not available in the day-to-day lives of the vast majority of people. There’s just too much to do and too much distraction to easily take the time and space for sufficient self-care. I see myself as a very open-minded, accepting, and empathetic person and love to share affection through listening and candid conversation in addition to hugs and cuddles.
Objective boundaries for me are as follows; I am always a ‘no’ to these activities. Touching or being touched in any areas covered by a bikini or swim brief bathing suit; not just genitals but also the butt and breasts. Having my face and head or the client’s on or near those same areas. Breathing/whispering/speaking into my ear or breathing on my face (breath and sound directed into my ear or at my face that is so close to my face that it feels hot and moist, likely within three inches). Breathing near my ear or face is okay as long as it’s not directly into my ear or onto my face or so close that I can consciously feel the warmth and moisture.
Subjective boundaries for me are as follows; I am only sometimes a ‘yes’ to these activities and require that the client asks and waits for verbal consent first. Giving or receiving dry kisses on my hands, arms, and shoulders. Having my hair, face, ears, and neck purposefully touched by the other person’s hands. I say purposefully because it doesn’t bother me if it’s momentary and unintentional, like when we are moving to transition between cuddling positions. Lingering, repetitive, and/or intentional touch in those areas can be uncomfortable for me.
If something feels “wrong” or “off” or “missing” in your life right now, I encourage you to give yourself the time and space to consider whether what your mind and body need more of is physical touch and connection to another human being in a safe environment. With the structure of our society and of our individual lives, even those with healthy, functional romantic, friend, and family relationships will still struggle to meet this need. That’s because our priorities can often be distorted by false urgency and social pressure. We spend our time and energy the way we think we’re supposed to, doing things the way everyone else is doing them. For many, just being able to say that you’re fulfilling that duty relatively well is a significant accomplishment. Believe me, I am in the same boat. But consider that the way everyone else is doing things isn’t necessarily the best way, the way that truly fulfills us and meets our needs, the healthiest way to live. The presence and role of physical touch and connection has become severely diminished in our everyday lives and our society at large. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you or for anyone. We can choose to make self care a priority and to give ourselves the love we deserve. Every person deserves to feel loved, heard, and connected, and I think one of the major drivers of evil and chaos in the human race is the lack of this kind of experience as a consistent routine. Having this kind of necessary experience as a regular part of life makes people kinder, gentler, more introspective and, most importantly, stronger. Strong enough to have the courage to treat themselves and others with true respect and consideration. When your needs are being met, it’s easy to see how others’ needs also deserve to be met, regardless of whether you agree on religion, politics, or anything else.
Purpose and mission:
You deserve to be taken care of, and no one else is going to do it for you. Cultivating the skills to nurture and love yourself is the best gift you can ever give yourself and will give you the strength and peace of mind to be able to handle whatever life throws your way.
Come see for yourself how this practice can benefit every area of your life! I look forward to seeing you embark on this journey of growth and self discovery!
Session information from Alyssa
There are three essential unique features of a Cuddlist session that set us apart. First, both parties participating have clearly established boundaries: we both go into the session knowing what we are and are not okay with and knowing that the other person also knows. This leaves us free to explore the space within those boundaries without holding back. Second, sessions are consent-driven: we both agree to say ‘yes’ to what we feel we can give or receive freely and fully and ‘no’ to anything else, and we both agree to accept and respect each other’s yes’s and no’s without question. This takes the compulsion for mind reading out of the equation of social interaction and creates an environment which strengthens self-esteem. Third, sessions are client-led: you are encouraged to ask for what you want within a safe time and space, a place of true belonging. You are free to quiet the chatter of the world and listen to what your mind and body are telling you that you need, which is a very beneficial and therapeutic practice that often brings clarity and self-empowerment.
The minimum session time offered is 1 hour, and the maximum session time offered is 2 hours for the first session. The maximum session time offered is 4 hours for future sessions. Please remember that only outcall sessions are offered at this time and that a travel rate is charged. This rate is calculated based on the Waze estimated drive time and my car’s estimated gas usage for the distance and will be given to you before you confirm your appointment. Maximum estimated drive time offered is one hour for all sessions. However, you may reserve a room at a hotel or motel and have the session there if you live farther away but still want to have a session. I recommend considering other practitioners closer to you if you live outside of Orange County, CA but am willing to accommodate clients within that estimated drive time. Please allow for 5 minutes before and after the session for me to change clothes in privacy. This 10 minutes total will not count towards the session time.
This service is focused around platonic affectionate physical touch. Cuddling is implied but not required, and any legal, platonic activity is allowed within the boundaries I indicated above. This includes but is not limited to talking; listening to music; watching TV/movies; taking a walk; and going out for coffee, lunch, or dinner. The session can take place in either a public or private location, as long as we are intending to follow all rules and guidelines set forth for using the space in question.
Once you submit a request, I will reply through email to address anything mentioned in your initial request followed by a short questionnaire to gauge whether this service is right for you, what you hope to get out of it, and any other limitations or necessary accommodations for having the session. This questionnaire may seem long, but being specific and thorough gives us a good jumping-off point for discussing your session further. It’s good to work out as many details as we can beforehand so that it’s out of the way before your session, and then you’ll be free to fully utilize our time together. After this follow-up email, we can also set up a short 10-15 minute phone call for any further discussion you may want to have to feel more comfortable going into the session or can continue through email. I can also provide some tips for preparing your own ideas for cuddle positions and activities you’d like to try, and I will let you know what is required for preparing a space for the session as well as the short exercises I like to go through with first-time clients to help transition into full physical contact and practice expressing your wants, needs, and boundaries candidly and comfortably. I will send an email confirming your session time and date when it has been decided. Once we’ve booked a session, we can also continue our exchanges through text, as opposed to email, if you prefer.
At the end of your session I will ask if you want me to follow up with you in a day or a week to see how you are feeling. You are encouraged to take this time to reflect on your experience and can then, if you would like to, share any changes you noticed in yourself physically, mentally, psychologically, and spiritually between how you felt before the session and how you felt during and after your session up until now. This conversation will serve as a reminder that I am always here and happy to help if you feel at any point moving forward that having another session is something that will help you work towards achieving your self-care desires and goals.
Session space requirements: the session can not occur unless these requirements are met in the session space.
1. Client’s physical body: respectful hygiene, freshly showered with soap, teeth freshly brushed with toothpaste, wearing freshly cleaned clothes that meet Code of Conduct requirements.
2. Physically touched surfaces: a bed or a cushioned surface like a couch/futon or a floor space covered with thick mats which is set up with clean blanket(s)/sheet(s) covering all 4 corners and clean pillows. The surfaces we will come into contact must be freshly cleaned: e.g. sheets, blankets, and pillows.
3. The air we breathe: clean, fresh air in the room. This can be accomplished by having a window open and a fan to air it out beforehand. No strong smells like food, garbage, or perfume/air freshener.
4. Temperature and humidity: ideal temperature range of 70-80F. In many cases, this means that A/C is needed. Not overly dry or humid as to be uncomfortable.
Sources of light in the space: I need to have non harsh lighting, non-fluorescent if possible, not bright but calming.
5. Sound and noise sources: Little to no presence of loud, continuous, and/or distracting noises like children playing or TV/music blasting. Measures are in place to block any noise which is out of the client’s control like neighbors, construction, trains, or cars.
Payment methods currently accepted at this time are cash and PayPal. However, I am open to discussing other online payment methods if these two options are unavailable to you (e.g. Venmo, Chase Pay). I cannot accept personal checks for payment. For first-time clients, half of the session cost is the required deposit in order to book a session, and the other half of the session cost is due at the start of the session. If online payment is an issue (i.e. cash is the only option available to you) we can arrange a 10-15 minute meeting in a mutually agreed upon public location to discuss and book a session. For return clients, sessions may be booked without a deposit, and the full session cost is due at the start of a session. You may cancel your session for a full refund of your deposit if it is 24 hours or more before the session time. Clients who wish to cancel a session within 24 hours of the appointment time will not be refunded the deposit and will require a deposit of half the session cost in order to book their next session regardless of whether they are a first-time or return client.