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Brenda

Certified Cuddlist

Session Rate: Virtual Sessions $100/hour (NO IN-PERSON SESSIONS AT THIS TIME)

About Brenda

Virtual Sessions Available: $100/hour.     The therapeutic value of on-line sessions is created with healthy boundaries and a willingness to open up to one another. Seeing and hearing one another are forms of touch that leave people happy and at peace. I have lots of fun ways to do that and we can create our own confidential space, however is best for both of us. Request a virtual session and we’ll begin the journey.

I am also a Cuddlist for parents and other adults who have children in their care. As a mother, and someone who has cared about children since I was a child, the discovery of how touch impacts parent-child relationships has moved me from a busy parent who was not available for my child, to one who offers warm eye contact, kind touch, and empowering words.

As one who is passionate about communication that causes relationships that thrive, a retired speech and language therapist for children, and one who has been discovering the words to express my truth, it’s the communication of Cuddlist that has me jumping for joy.

PARENT-CHILD Nurturing Touch Facilitator

Would you like your child to talk with you?  Share what they are dealing with?  Would you like to insure your child’s success in life?

Whether you’re thinking of having children or your children are elderly, effective communication, and working through conflict to greater closeness, is possible.  Relationships where you feel free to be yourself completely and know that the other person is not going away.  You can say anything and know that you are loved.  You can share your dreams and be encouraged to follow them.

To thrive, to be confident in who we are, and to achieve what we’re capable of, safety to be ourselves, is required.

When my journey as a Cuddlist began,  here’s what I said.

” You deserve to know clearly what you want.  To speak it and be heard, every time. To move away when something doesn’t work for you…in our session and in life. You deserve to trust yourself.

With this work, I have gained a fine-tuned awareness of what I want to give and receive…and of how to do that in a way that honors everyone.  Around me people realize what they care about, say it, and are safe to do so.

I have vision for youth growing up, to know what kind of nurturing touch they savor, and speak it.  (I.e.  “Will you hold my hand?”)  As well, it’s possible to know and speak their boundaries. (I.e. “I don’t like my face touched”.)   And in being honored by their clarity, they can also learn to honor what others want (and not take things personally)

After years of being a Cuddlist,  l still hold this vision as I provide connection virtually.  My focus is on parents and children.   What this means is that I facilitate nurturing touch from parent to child at any age.  I may work with a parent to coach them on kind touch with their teen, with a new father on touch that nourishes their infant, or with parents and their adult children.  There is no age limit on who I serve.

Why parents and children?

I am dedicated to families having happiness, peace, and inspiration in their relationships.  Understanding my boundaries through the work of Cuddlist, has brought all of this to my relationship with my daughter.

People can survive without nurturing touch.  However, to thrive, nurturing touch is essential.   Having mostly gone without it as a child (as did my parents), never having it in my two failed marriages, I’ve discovered the value of providing it to myself.  Softly moving a hand over the opposite arm, caressing my face, and self-hugs bring the oxytocin warmth I feel when I’m the client of a Cuddlist.

As one who hadn’t received kind touch, I didn’t naturally give it to my child.  As a new mother,  I applied after-bath moisturizer.   Being busy with household chores, stress in my marriage, and other commitments, stopped me from picking her up when she wanted to be held.  My training in behavioralism, the belief “never do something for a child that they can do for themselves”, and fatigue, also influenced the amount of touch I gave my child.

The desire for touch is in all of us.  A friend shares a story of being  advised to casually touch her child who was struggling, 50 times a day.  A playful lean here, hand on shoulder there, looking her in the eyes (touch is also delivered when we see someone, and the sound vibrations from the kind words we speak touch their eardrums).  Between her and her husband they met the goal each day, and soon their  child began coming to them for hugs.    My parenting coach  says, “when it comes to nurturing touch, it is your job to figure out what your child loves and provide it”.  My young one loves back scratches, and the snow story massage on her back.  She now hugs me back with both arms and settles into hugs, instead of shrugging them off, being like a limp fish, or declining altogether.

Do you fear being close to your child?  There is discomfort and fear for many people around being touched or touching another.   I’ve heard from fathers who have fear about accusations, if they are to lovingly hold their adolescent daughters.   Open communication can eliminate fear, and parents and children can find comfortable ways to give and receive touch, that leave everyone at peace and smiling.

Are you annoyed or frustrated with your child who wants to be close all the time?  Discover what is in the way of enjoying your child, send the message that you want to be close to them, and set loving boundaries for times when you need space.

From our sessions (with or without your child) you can:

  • discover nurturing touch (speaking, seeing, skin to skin) that you enjoy and your child may enjoy
  • gain a deeper sense of what what inspires joy and peace in you
  • experience  calm when you have emotional reactions
  • cause what matters most in your relationship with your young person when they cry, rage, tantrum, talk back, act disrespectfully

For more on the power of touch by eye contact, the sound of kind words, and skin to skin nurturing touch, watch this: https://youtu.be/WjOowWxOXCg

Interested?  Request a session and I’ll call you to schedule a discovery call.  *NOTE:  Please read and agree to the Cuddlist Code of Conduct in the session request.  I have an expanded Code for our sessions that I’ll share on our  call.

I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Session information from Brenda

Once you submit a request, I will respond to schedule a preliminary call to explore what you would like for you or your family in working together.

In your session, I’ll be listening for what to ask that will guide you to your answers that promote connection with yourself or your child.  I’ll give you the opportunity to say what inhibits you from extending kind touch, discover how you’d like to connect,  and practice touch communication.

Sessions will be video calls for our time together.

I accept payment through Venmo, PayPal, Cash (app), or regular green cash, and ask for 24-hour notice of cancellation.

Skills & Specialties

I am a mother one who studies and practices in the field of love a Heart IQ coach & facilitator Hear Me app listener Wheel of Consent student former Introduction Leader for Landmark and retired Speech and Language Therapist (CCC/SLP).

Availability

Request a session for availability.

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