Charloste Love

Cuddlist condemns all forms of white supremacy, especially those that come in the form of violent hate groups such as those that instigated the recent events in Charlottesville, VA.

The perpetuating of a violent and racist culture is one of the most dangerous realities in the United States today. As people that promote the teaching of boundaries, respect, and compassion through nurturing touch, cuddlists strive to correct the rampant emotional and physical disconnect between humans in modern society.

Discrimination and violence are, in large part, a result of nurture and particularly the lack thereof at a young age. A study of prenatal and perinatal traumas found that such traumas result in a “significant percentage increase of adult substance abuse and violence that ranges from 56% to 500% increase when compared to normal controls” (James W. Prescott, “The Origins of Human Love and Violence”).

As a society, we have lost the norm of emotional connection and empathy through the loss of gentle and nurturing touch. This can prove extremely detrimental especially in men, who are taught to conform to this box of hetero-masculinity, first referred to as the “Man Box” by Charlie Glickman.

In an article featured in the Good Man Project, Mark Greene elaborates on this condition writing, “The Man Box exists to accrue power upward in its internal hierarchy and it does so by isolating men emotionally and then channeling their resulting anger into the repetitious and addictive act of policing and punishing others. Policing ranges from dismissal, sarcasm, and contempt, to economic violence, physical brutality and murder.”

The criteria that decides who is policed typically stems from “overarching biases of homophobia, racism, sexism and religious bigotry” (Mark Greene, “The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence”).

When men are raised to think they must suppress emotional needs such as the natural need for nurturing touch, they are likely to perpetuate the policing of all behavior that dares to fall outside the boundaries of “traditional masculinity.” Such actions are not only unhealthy but contribute to a society of hate, fear, and discrimination.

Cuddlist believes that our country has a long way to go in terms of social and political acceptance and compassion for all peoples but hopes to contribute to that process through creating a new dialogue of emotional openness by providing nurturing touch to all.

Giovanna Boyle

Prescott, James W., “The Origins of Human Love and Violence.” Journal of Pre- and Perinatal Psychology. Vol. 10 No. 3: 143-188. (1996).

Greene, Mark, “The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence.” The Good Men Project, 11 Aug. 2017, Good Men Project.

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