Session Rate: $60/hr.
1 hour, 1½ hour, and 2 hour sessions are available.
(No travel fees within the Salt Lake and Utah valleys.)
South Jordan, UT
Touch. Exactly the way YOU want it.
Do you wish that you could get the exact kind of touch and cuddles exactly the way you want it, without difficulty, negotiation, or denial?
You can have touch, just the way you want it, all while experiencing safety, comfort, and loving acceptance just as you are.
My goal is to create a deep pervasive feeling of safety for you to feel appreciated for who you are right now, to know that your needs are important, where you can feel free to ask for any kind of platonic touch or cuddles that you want. You don’t have to do or change anything. You can ask for exactly what you want, knowing that you will receive the benefits of healthy, affirming, affectionate, wanted touch that nourishes your soul.
A Cuddlist session is about you and meeting your touch needs, and your needs only.
You will get to choose exactly what you want and how, 100% of the time.
Even if you don’t know what you want, we will work together to help you figure it out, learn how to ask for it, and create your awesome!
I am certain you will think this is the best thing you ever did for yourself!
And it would be an honor for me to be able to give this to you.
My focus is on people that are missing this life affirming touch in their lives, whether through divorce, separation, unaffectionate partners, or no partner at all.
It’s OK to want to he held, nurtured, and cared for.
You deserve to receive cuddling and touch without condition, and without having to compromise for less than or different from what you really want, negotiate for crumbs, or even just outright denial.
So many of us have existed for years in unaffectionate relationships, and for others, as relationships start to whither, affectionate touch is one of the first things to go away. Once a separation or divorce starts, even if there had been affectionate touch up to that point, it usually dries up completely afterward.
Touch is a basic human need that starts at birth and never ends. Affectionate touch is still so rare, despite the unambiguous research showing just how critical it is to our emotional and physical health at every stage of life, from birth right up to the day we die.
You shouldn’t have to live without or bargain to receive affectionate touch, and now you have options that didn’t even exist 5 years ago, thanks to the rise of growing groups and practitioners of consensual touch.
Cuddle Party is one excellent way to get some of your touch needs met. I strongly encourage anyone and everyone to attend a Cuddle Party. The most fundamental rules of Cuddle Party are that: 1. you don’t touch anybody without their direct verbal permission, and 2. ‘NO’ is a complete sentence. You don’t have to have a reason, ‘no’ is enough, and you never have to cuddle with anybody that you don’t want to, ever. Besides being able to consensually ask for the kind of touch you want, it also draws amazing people together socially and meets our deep inborn need for connection at a time when isolation is becoming endemic. Here’s where you can find Cuddle Party’s in Utah: Meetup.com/UtahCuddleClub or worldwide: CuddleParty.com.
I am so fortunate for the multiple incredibly rewarding ways I have been associated with Cuddle Party, Utah Cuddle Club, Mary Sorensen(!) (our Utah Cuddle Party facilitator), and the many awesome people I have met through Cuddle Parties here (all of you!), my own Cuddlist(!), and now in the Cuddlist practitioner community across the US and the world.
Cuddlist is another great place to get your touch needs fulfilled. With a Cuddlist you, as client, can get your exact specific platonic touch needs met. Like Cuddle Party, it is totally platonic, but unlike Cuddle Party, as long as it meets the Code of Conduct and you uphold your agreements with the Cuddlist, then the basic answer is limited primarily by the individual Cuddlist’s comfort in giving that to you with a open heart. Because each person is unique, each Cuddlist will have different specific boundaries, but for most PLATONIC requests, the answer is likely yes.
If it is something feels like it is not platonic or is otherwise outside my comfort zone, I will let you know with open gentle acceptance and celebration of you being able to ask for your wants and needs, and we will find something that can meet your want within my personal boundaries.
As a Cuddlist and client, our promise each other will be that if either of us becomes uncomfortable, we will speak up and tell the other that we are uncomfortable, we will stop whatever is happening, and with words and actions find that something can be changed in a way so that both can return to their personal place of being comfortable. The discomfort could be anything, it could be nothing, or it could be something you don’t have words for.
This can be a most awesome experience and it gives you the ability to be very specific in addressing your platonic touch needs. This client-centric mutual boundaries model where the boundary is constantly updated within our perception of both platonic nature and personal comfort in that moment is unique to Cuddlist and foundational to how Cuddlist sessions are conducted.
It is my promise to you that you will only be touched when and how you want it and that you are ALWAYS the one choosing at all times.
I encourage you to discover and experience this the amazing place of empowerment that you will find in choosing exactly what you want for yourself.
The Father you Wish you’d Had
My other main focus is on people who have experienced a father who was absent, abusive, or worse.
You *can* have the healthy, wanted, loving, and affectionate touch of the father you wished you had, instead of the one you actually had.
There are so many people with absent or neglectful parents that didn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t touch them appropriately as children to provide them with the healthy unconditional love, unconditional acceptance, and unconditional affection they deserved.
I personally experienced this lack of parental touch too, and can only say that it has been deeply and profoundly healing for me to experience being a Cuddlist client and re-patterning the damage of not being touched by a parent in a deeply caring wanted way.
This is what ignited my passion to become a Cuddlist and I want to make that gift available to others that are looking for a male/father figure to work with them too.
I am particularly interested in working in conjunction with you and your therapist to provide the physical touch you need to heal, while they continue support your emotional and mental health growth. In the same way, if your boundaries have been violated in the past, I am happy to provide a safe space for you to work on speaking and practicing your boundaries. My preference would be to do this with your therapist’s direct coordinated involvement. Cuddlist’s are not mental health professionals. I can listen, but cannot provide advice on your specific situation. This is a personal and professional boundary I must maintain at all times.
What to expect in a Cuddlist Session with Ray
One of the most wonderful things about a Cuddlist session is that you are in full control at all times.
If you are ever uncomfortable with *anything*, we stop!
You then have the time and freedom to figure out what you do want and what does make you comfortable, and you will never be rushed.
You will receive my full undivided attention in whatever way you want.
You don’t even have to cuddle at all, if you just want to talk instead, I am happy to listen.
If you need somewhere safe to practice your own boundaries, you are welcome here.
You get to choose, ALWAYS!
Another awesome thing is that you don’t even have to be uncomfortable.
You can change anything at any time for any reason, or even no reason, ALWAYS!
Nourish your inner child, indulge your adult, and switch back at any time. It is always up to you.
As long as it remains platonic, healthy, and wanted, you can have it!
It is difficult to describe in words how truly amazing this feels inside.
I want to make a positive impact in your life, one that you will carry and treasure forever.
From Cuddle Parties, I have been told repeatedly that I have a sweet and gentle soothing manner that helps people relax and let go of their fear and anxiety. I am patient, empathetic, and happy to give in whatever way will benefit you in our session.
All emotions are also welcome here, and it is not unusual to experience many different emotions while in a Cuddlist session, sometimes many even in the same session. I invite you to just experience it and enjoy the unconditional acceptance I will give to you, while you can explore with newfound freedom, the goodness and growth that comes from experiencing your emotions without judgement. Everybody has emotions that range from happy to sad, and everywhere in between. It’s all OK. Sadly for most people, emotions are also deeply repressed because it is not perceived as safe to experience them with the people currently around us. It is always safe to experience and express your emotions here with your Cuddlist, even the strong ones. That alone, is awesomeness that you will not be able to fully grasp until it happens. What we will not do is act upon those emotions.
I am also open to you bringing your ‘wingman’/safety friend, and even splitting the session with them. You probably won’t want to share after you have your first experience, but it will remain an available option as long as the intake and agreements have been completed by both of you first.
A shared session cost is $80/hr. A non-participating safety friend is free.
Both you and your safety friend must be present at the intake interview, both agree to and sign the Cuddlist “Code of Conduct,” as well as our mutual agreements/boundaries as Cuddlist and client(s).
How it Works
All ages, genders, sizes, races, religions and sexual orientations are welcome!
Request an intake session using the ‘Request a Session’ button underneath the picture. Back to top of page
We will meet in a public place to answer all your questions, discuss the Cuddlist “Code of Conduct”, and together decide on whether we are a good fit for each other, and on booking a session for you.
During this intake session we will also discuss and reach Mutual Agreement on the following items:
- Each will always be open, honest, and forthcoming about whether they are feeling uncomfortable in any way from moment to moment, respecting themselves first and each other always by respecting our own and each other’s boundaries at all time.
- Each will explicitly promise that we will each will take care of ourselves first and foremost.
- We will promise to each other that everything in our session will always remain within the both of our full consensual boundaries at all times, and
- Agree that no reason is needed to stop or change anything in-session at any time, except that you want it to change.
The Cuddlist “Code of Conduct” and Mutual Agreements are *mandatory* at all times in a Cuddlist session, and the session will end if they are not adhered to. These define the boundaries that create the safe container for us to be fully present with each other and enable us to build the trust needed for this to work.
This free intake meeting usually takes about 15-20 minutes.
If everything is good to go for both of us, it is possible that we may be able to go straight to our location and start the session immediately, or we might choose a more convenient later time/date.
I have been attending Cuddle Parties since 2015, more than 20 events so far. I have been in a personal relationship with a Cuddle Party Facilitator/Professional Cuddlist for several years. I have also been a long-term client with another Cuddlist. I am intimately familiar with boundaries, mutual consent, and how to give and receive healthy wanted touch.
Session information from Ray
In-calls are in an office building on the lower level with stair access only, located near 400S & State St., SLC, UT.
The office is close to the ‘Courthouse’ Trax station used by the Blue (701), Red (703), and Green (704) Trax lines. One-way fare on Trax is $2.50. (NOTE: Your ride home on Trax trains and UTA buses from ‘Courthouse’ station and other downtown core locations is *free!* Thanks UTA!)
Parking is often available streetside, and if none is available, a parking structure ($5) is directly across the street.
Outcalls at your location in Salt Lake or Utah valleys.
No ‘Travel Fee’ for outcalls within the Salt Lake or Utah valleys.