Session Rate: $80/hour; $140/90 minutes + travel fees for outcalls
Eastsound, Orcas Island, WA
About Virginia Erhardt
Hi there! My name is Virginia and I love relating to people through the warmth of platonic touch. I offer total mindful presence, while holding you in a comforting, safe space. Cuddle sessions are totally about your needs, exploring the way you like to be touched, learning about your boundaries, using your voice to offer consent, relaxing and paying attention to the way you feel.
Who am I? I am a warm, caring person. I enjoy my son, adult grandchildren and friends tremendously. I love the beauty of the Pacific Northwest, art, music, movies and plays, meditation and chocolate. Three years ago, I retired from my private practice in Clinical Psychology. Cuddling is not therapy and I have no desire to shift it into that realm. It is, however, therapeutic.
My volunteer work is for an organization about which I am passionate. I’m on the board of trustees of a non-profit that creates permanently affordable housing here on the island.
What are the benefits of cuddling? Platonic cuddling has many benefits. It can increase the oxytocin in your system. Oxytocin is a hormone and a neurotransmitter that offers a sense of well-being. Cuddling can boost your immune system, relax you, help you become more self-aware, feel more connected, reduce stress levels, and increase your self-esteem. For most people, life is so busy that healthy platonic touch falls by the wayside. Cuddling intentionally brings nurturing touch I nto your life.
Who is cuddling for?
It is for anyone 18 or over who is truly interested in a nurturing, relaxing, therapeutic platonic touch experience in a safe place. It is only for people who wholeheartedly agree to the Cuddlist code of conduct, which makes it clear that this is a totally platonic service. I offer nothing else and I wouldn’t want a misunderstanding to lead to disappointment.
What is a session like?
Often, people feel a bit awkward early in a first session. After all, this is something new and different and your Cuddlist is a stranger at first. If this is out of your comfort zone, you will be manifesting the courage that a vulnerable situation requires. Let’s give ourselves permission to feel awkward at first. As you let yourself relax into mindful presence, you will probably feel more and more comfortable, soothed and relaxed.
Do people ever get aroused ?
Some people’s bodies tend to respond to touch with arousal. This is perfectly normal. I totally understand and accept it with no negative reaction. We can acknowledge what is happening. We will use self-control, never acting on arousal in any way. We can take a break, change our positioning, talk, stretch, whatever will help us relax back into a neutral state.
How do we cuddle?
There are infinite ways to cuddle. We want it to feel good and be consensual. We can just sit side by side against each other, hold hands, rub feet, or embrace each other with full body contact. Your task is to pay attention to how your body is feeling and how it is wanting to be held or touched. You never have to touch during a session, and it’s always OK to change your mind about wanting something.
Session information from Virginia Erhardt
I am sensitive to and have a reaction to strong scents. So, I will ask you to refrain from wearing any scented products. It’s important that you come to the session in freshly washed clothes and that you have good hygiene. I have a very intense reaction to cigarette smoke clinging to a person’s hair or clothing. If you are a smoker, it will be necessary for you to shower after the last cigarette you smoke prior to our session. If that would create a hardship for you, then I’m not a good match as a practitioner for you.
Please contact me via the form on this website so we can set up a free 15 minute consultation by phone to become somewhat acquainted and to see if we seem like a good fit, in which case we can schedule a session. I require that you email me a copy of your photo I.D. (Drivers license preferred), in time for our phone talk, and send a 50% deposit via PayPal to hold your appointment. It might be wise to book a 90 minute session for the first one so we can go over the things we’re agreeing to and still have plenty of cuddle time, which tends to fly. If you prefer a 60 minute session, that’s fine. Again, contact me via the form on this site. You are welcome to email me at [email protected] with any questions or to book follow-up sessions. I try to respond within 24 hours.
My cuddle space is in Eastsound, on Orcas Island. It is a quiet area with plentiful free parking. I’ll provide directions. There are 3 steps on my front porch. I have both a comfortable sofa and a queen size bed, the latter in a cuddle-dedicated room. If you live within 30 minutes of me, I can come to you, with a $20 travel fee.
Having spoken on the phone, I’ll have a good idea about what you hope to get from the session and I will keep that in mind. I’ll encourage you to explore what kinds of platonic touch feel good to you. Each session begins with an opening agreement. In this agreement we both promise to let the other person know if we feel uncomfortable in anyway, for any reason, and to adjust to find greater comfort. We may have boundaries that are not covered by the code of conduct. For instance, there are two things I have a boundary about that aren’t in the code of contact. I don’t like any kissing in sessions and I don’t like my ears touched. There may be other things we need to tell each other about, hard boundaries (never want it) or soft boundaries (sometimes OK, sometimes not, so discuss before initiating). Therefore, it’s important that either of us who feels uncomfortable, or thinks they might, speaks up. When we do so we’re taking care of ourselves, honoring our boundaries and increasing our self-respect. Maintaining our boundaries in this way can change our lives in very positive, far-reaching ways.
When we’re ready to start cuddling, we’ll breathe deeply together to become grounded and I’ll ask you how you would like to begin. We can connect via touch or not. I’ll encourage you to tune in to your body and ask for what you want. Of course, it will be something within the Code of Conduct and my personal boundaries in order for me to give you a wholehearted “yes.” Otherwise, I will say “no,” kindly. You can rest assured that this is a safe place to ask and know that I won’t do anything I don’t totally want to do. If I have to say no to your request, I’ll do so without judgement and together we will find an alternative that will offer you the feeling you were hoping for. Not knowing what you want gives us an opportunity to get creative and uncover what it might be, with suggestions welcome from both of us.
At the beginning of the session, I set a timer so we’ll know when we have 10 minutes left. At that point, we will begin to transition from cuddling, perhaps stretching, eventually getting up and moving about a bit. I’ll inquire about how you’re feeling, and whether you learned anything about yourself during the session.
Part of the after care I provide is contacting you the next day to follow up and see how you’re feeling and whether you have had any revelations since leaving.
If you have any concerns or questions, I hope you will feel free to contact me. For me, cuddling is a privilege. I will feel extremely fortunate if I have the opportunity to share the experience with you.