Session Rate: $80/hour; $120/90 minutes + travel fees for outcalls
Eastsound, Orcas Island, WA
About Virginia Erhardt
Hi there! My name is Virginia and I love relating to people through the warmth of platonic touch. I offer total mindful presence, while providing a comforting, safe space. Our sessions are totally about your needs, exploring the way you like to be touched, learning about your boundaries, using your voice to offer consent, relaxing and paying attention to the way you feel. As I nurture you, I will support you and accept you unconditionally. You will feel seen, heard and cared for.
In 2015, I retired from my private practice in Clinical Psychology. Nurturing Touch is not Psychotherapy and I have no desire to attempt to shift it into that realm. It is, however, therapeutic, extremely beneficial physically and emotionally. In sessions, at times people talk, sometimes they cry, and sometimes silence is soothing.
Platonic cuddling can increase the oxytocin in your system. Oxytocin is a hormone/neurotransmitter that offers a sense of well-being. Cuddling can also boost your immune system, relax you, help you become more self-aware, feel more connected, reduce stress levels, and increase your self-esteem. It can even reduce anxiety and depression. For most people, life is so busy that healthy platonic touch falls by the wayside. Cuddling intentionally brings nurturing touch into your life. Also, particularly for women, platonic touch may be given often, particularly to children. Women are much less often the recipients of nurturing in their everyday lives.
Cuddling is for anyone 18 or over who is truly interested in a comforting, nurturing experience in a safe place. It is only for people who wholeheartedly agree to the Cuddlist code of conduct, which makes it clear that this is a totally platonic service. I offer nothing else and I wouldn’t want misunderstanding to lead to disappointment.
Often, people feel a bit awkward early in a first session. After all, this is something new and different and your Cuddlist is almost a stranger at first. If this is out of your comfort zone, you will be manifesting the courage that a vulnerable situation requires. Let’s give ourselves permission to feel awkward at first. As you let yourself relax into mindful presence, you will probably feel more and more comfortable, soothed and relaxed. The awkwardness is likely to melt away pretty quickly.
Some people’s bodies tend to respond to touch with arousal. If you do, it is perfectly normal for you. I totally understand and accept it when this happens, with no judgement or negative reaction. We can acknowledge what is happening. We use self-control, never acting on arousal in any way. We can take a break, change our positioning, talk, stretch, whatever will help us relax back into a neutral state. If you prefer, you can just say that you’re uncomfortable and need to adjust your position.
There are infinite ways to engage with each other in session. We want it to feel good and be consensual. We can just sit side by side against each other, hold hands, rub feet, backs, etc., or embrace each other with full body contact, such as spooning.
it may feel good to you to intentionally allow each of your muscle groups to just let go. Your task is to pay attention to how your body and mind are feeling and how you are wanting to be held or touched. You never have to touch during a session, and it’s always OK to change your mind about something you thought you wanted, or, as it turns out, you only want for a brief time.
Session information from Virginia Erhardt
I am sensitive to and have a reaction to strong scents. So, I will ask you to refrain from wearing any scented products. It’s important that you come to the session in freshly washed clothes and that you have good hygiene, having showered very recently. I have a very intense reaction to cigarette smoke clinging to a person’s hair or clothing. If you are a smoker, it will be necessary for you to shower after the last cigarette you smoke prior to our session. If that would create a hardship for you, then I’m not a good match as a practitioner for you.
Please contact me via the form on this website so we can set up a free 15 minute consultation by phone to become acquainted and to see if we seem like a good fit, in which case we can schedule a session. I require that first-time clients email me a copy of their photo I.D. (Drivers license preferred), in time for our phone talk, and send a 50% deposit via PayPal to hold your appointment. The balance can be paid in cash in session. Again, contact me to set up your first appointment via the form on this site. You are welcome to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions or to book follow-up sessions. I do my best to respond within 24 hours. Cancelling or not showing for a session without 24 hours notice results in forfeiture of the $40 deposit.
My cuddle space is in Eastsound, on Orcas Island. It is in a quiet area with plentiful free parking. I’ll provide directions after we talk. There are 3 steps on my front porch. I have both a comfortable sofa and a cuddle-dedicated queen size bed. We can use one or both. If you live within 30 minutes of me, I can come to you, with a $20 travel fee.
Having spoken on the phone, I’ll have a good idea about what you hope to get from the session and I will keep that in mind. I’ll encourage you to explore what kinds of platonic touch feel good to you. Each session begins with an opening agreement. In this agreement we both promise to let the other person know if we feel uncomfortable in anyway, for any reason, and to adjust to find greater comfort. We may have boundaries that are not covered by the code of conduct. For instance, there are three things I have a boundary about that aren’t in the code of conduct. I don’t like any kissing in sessions or my ears touched. It’s not OK with me for people to put their hands under my clothing. There may be other things we need to tell each other about, hard boundaries (never want it) or soft boundaries (sometimes OK, sometimes not, so discuss before initiating). Therefore, it’s important that either of us who feels uncomfortable, or thinks they might, speaks up. When we do so we’re taking care of ourselves, honoring our boundaries and increasing our self-respect. Maintaining our boundaries in this way can change our lives in very positive, far-reaching ways.
When we’re ready to start cuddling, we’ll breathe deeply together to become grounded and I’ll ask you how you would like to begin. We can connect via touch or not. I’ll encourage you to tune in to your body and ask for what you want. Of course, it will be something within the Code of Conduct and my personal boundaries in order for me to give you a wholehearted “yes.” Otherwise, I will say “no” kindly. You can rest assured that this is a safe place to ask and know that I won’t do anything I don’t totally want to do. If I have to say no to your request, together we will find an alternative that will offer you the feeling you were hoping for. Not knowing what you want gives us an opportunity to get creative and uncover what it might be, with suggestions welcome from both of us.
At the beginning of the session, I set a timer so we’ll know when we have 10 minutes left. At that point, we will begin to transition from cuddling, perhaps stretching, eventually getting up and moving about a bit. I’ll inquire about how you’re feeling, and what the session was like for you.
Part of the after care I provide is contacting you the next day to follow up and see how you’re feeling and whether you have had any revelations since leaving.
If you have any concerns or questions, I hope you will feel free to contact me. For me, cuddling is a privilege. I will feel extremely fortunate if I have the opportunity to share the experience with you.