Why Professional Cuddling Is Gaining Popularity — And Why It Might Be Worth Paying For

Cuddling, snuggling, embrace…there are so many ways to articulate how we can embrace another.

It is something that is done in families, amongst friends and even between romantic partners to express a variety of things from comfort, to support and even a way to tick someone off (I’m sure there are some siblings who can relate to a fierce “hug”).  One of the best things about professional cuddling becoming so popular is that we now have more ways to articulate how we can use healthy touch for a variety of people with whom our interactions may not be as instinctual (or as forgivable).  In this vein, I would like to share 7 quick tips to cuddle like a PRO!  Whether you are looking to become a Cuddlist or just model some healthy touch – these small tips will go a very long way…shall we begin?

Determine your motivation
Whether you are cuddling with your partner, family member or professionally it is thoroughly important to determine what your motivation is and what energy you are bringing to this interaction. Are you looking to comfort someone?  Looking to relax and unwind? Display affection to your child or spouse? With any of these, we bring the energy of that intention and it is important to make sure yours matches with the other person…which brings us to pre-talk.

Pre-talk
Once you have your motivation – chat it out with your partner.  This is the perfect time to set up your parameters, likes, dislikes and preferences.  This is also the time to chat about what your cuddle looks like.  Is it hand holding?  A hug?  Do you plan to sit or stand?  Is there anywhere you should be mindful of touching/being touched?  Preferred pronouns (if you are not familiar)?  What happens in case of arousal? What is the motivation for both (or all) of you? These are all things that increase your ability to be present and attend to both yourself and your cuddle partner in a way that opens the door for positive and effective communication.

Hygiene
While it should go without saying, it never hurts to be reminded that hygiene is of the highest importance in any contact/proximity based activity.  Being sure to have your teeth brushed, not putting on heavy scents (or generating them via body odor) and wearing clothing/jewelry that is not rough, abrasive or irritating to yourself or your cuddle buddy, will allow all parties to set the tone for the remainder of your time spent together.  Remember – when in doubt – pull the breath strip out!

Setting
Where to go, where to go?  This is actually much easier than it sounds, because the answer is – anywhere!  Seriously though, if you were to set up in a park, who is checking in on who your company is?  This is another element that builds on motivation and pre-talk.  Consider if you are indoors, outdoors, would you like music or are you more amenable to conversation.  The opportunities are truly endless; however, they are much more enjoyable once you have prepared in the best way you can.

Feel comfortable with your decision
Now that you have rolled these tips around your mind – the most important part is to feel comfortable AND confident in your cuddles.  Once you show how comfortable you are – or even articulate how (un)comfortable your feelings are, you’ve made yet another step towards reinforcing your desired environment and session.  As people, we can often sense when someone else is unsure/uncomfortable and take it to mean “we” did something wrong…and geez that would have ruined the progress made in pre-talk and setting.  The easiest fix is to consider your partner is as eager/nervous/excited/scared as you are…how would you want to be treated?  That’s a great place to start feeling a bit more comfortable and confident in your cuddling.

Gratitude
Cuddling in any form can generate a great deal of vulnerable feelings while also bringing up things we may not add to the list of groceries, laundry and chores.  When in doubt, appreciate your partner in an obvious (and respectful) way.  This can be a simple “Thank You”, a pat on the hand, a referral or…feedback.

Give & Receive Feedback
I must say a good compliment never hurts; however, I eagerly await feedback. Ideally, you both will have given and received feedback throughout the entire session by checking in, communicating your needs and communicating through any transitions.  Remembering that it is as much of a gift to give as it is to receive, be sure to really consider what it is you need, want and are curious about and how you would like to feel more supported.   As you share this with your partner(s), also take in what they are saying – open communication highlights the path to more enjoyable sessions with whomever you are cuddling with!

Desiree is a Professional Cuddler with Cuddlist.com and she is based out of Washington DC, Maryland & Virginia. Her skills & specialties are coaching, hypnosis & tantric rejuvenation. 
 

7 Tips to Cuddle Like a Pro

SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IS A CUDDLE

In geometry class they taught us, “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.” That made sense to me then, and it makes even more sense now. A straight line is the most direct connection. There are no detours or meandering.

I would go further to say, “The shortest distance between two people is a cuddle” because I think a cuddle is potentially the most direct connection between two people. When both people have the intention to get something positive and healing from this physical act — you avoid the slippery slope of language. A cuddle says loudly and clearly: “I am trying to nurture you to the best of my abilities.”,

Is it possible for someone to be cuddled and not feel anything? It’s possible that the more open you are… the more you will receive. But I can’t imagine that a person wouldn’t feel anything. Hopefully it would give even a closed person a glimpse of the infinite tenderness they are capable of receiving.

“A cuddle says loudly and clearly: ‘I am trying to nurture you to the best of my abilities.'”

By day, I work with the visually impaired community. Sometimes for fun I like to ask the clients deep questions while they wait for their volunteers. Once I asked a question of Walter, a man who loves to make up bad puns all day and who carries a black backpack the size of a tuba on his back. “Walter, if you had a magic wand and had one wish — what would it be?” Interestingly, he didn’t ask that he could get his eyesight back. I’d have thought that’d be at the top of his list. Instead he said, “I wish I could love people better.”

“Wow, that’s a great answer,” I said. “What do you mean?”

“I put up a lot of walls,” he said with some sadness. Cuddling is the opposite of putting up walls. Cuddling is peering over and around walls, or removing them completely. Walls are built to prevent connection, to make the distance between two people greater. When we cuddle, it’s about two people letting themselves be vulnerable, coming to the encounter with open arms, open hearts. For me, cuddling is one way I try to love people better.

Let me end by telling you about two clients I’ve had as a professional cuddler in my first year with Cuddlist.com. I’ve changed their names.

“We hugged, we spooned, I held his head, caressed his face, we joined hands, talked, laughed. ‘I felt like I was cuddling with a good friend,’…”

For starters, she is a psychotherapist. When I learned that, two things went through my head. One, how cool that someone from a more traditional healing profession understands the therapeutic value of paying for cuddling. And two, how intimidating to be cuddling a professional therapist! Will she think I’m bogus?

I asked her what she wanted from the session. She said, “I want to be able to ask for what I want, and to receive what I ask for.” She said she was nervous, so I started by letting her page through The Cuddle Sutra, a book filled with several depictions of creative positions. She found one she liked and we performed it. We both lay back on the bed and she simply crossed one of her legs over mine. Such a tiny point of contact but it felt great. I felt the warmth where our legs crossed. I felt the comfort of lying beside someone, breathing slowly together with her. She loved it. And she got what she asked for!

Vincent is a salesman who has been happily married to a woman for a few decades. But some years ago, he was in Central America when he contracted a tropical disease and almost died. It made him look at his life differently. It awakened in him his desire for the touch of another man. He’d never heard of professional cuddlers or cuddle meetup groups until he stumbled upon them in a google search. That’s how he found me.

I asked him what he wanted. He said, “I’ve never cuddled with a man before. That’s what I want.” And that’s what we did. We hugged, we spooned, I held his head, caressed his face, we joined hands, talked, laughed. “I felt like I was cuddling with a good friend,” he said enthusiastically. He made an appointment to have a cuddle session the following month and Vincent became my first repeat client.

I love being a professional cuddler. I enjoy connecting with people and helping them get their touch needs met in an enjoyable, platonic way. I am in awe of how powerful therapeutic cuddling can be. At the end of the day, I’m one of those folks who likes to connect the dots. I’m a dot connector. I love to make the distance between myself and the rest of the universe a little less distant.

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Dwight is a Professional Cuddler trained by Cuddlist and he is based out of Chicago, IL. His skills & specialties are: Being a facilitator of a regular cuddle group and a recipient of one-on-one professional cuddles. Dwight has learned the value of both group cuddling and private cuddling. Dwight has been a practicing Buddhist for over 25 years, working for world peace through individual happiness. Dwight believes cuddling is an inalienable right for all humans, whether they are partnered or single. Dwight is easygoing, a good listener, and has a good sense of humor. 
 

The value of physical touch and how it makes us happier

“I need a hug.”
“Kiss it and make it better.”
“Just hold me.”

We have probably all heard all of the phrases above. They are examples of asking for physical touch to feel better. Even the innocent phrase of a child ‘kiss it and make it better’ reflects how physical contact can make things, quite simply, feel better.

When I say physical touch here, I mean a gentle, caring touch that is comfortable for the recipient. In The Oxytocin Factor, a book published in 2003, author Kerstin Moberg explains that physical touch has a similar effect to an actual injection of oxytocin (pp. 110 – 112, 1). Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter, a chemical in the brain, associated with love, trust, and feeling good2.

Studies have shown that massage can help cancer patients with their symptoms of pain and depression. In a 2009 study researchers found that breast  cancer patients who were given regular massage felt better and didn’t get upset as much as a control group who did not receive the massage3, and a 2015 meta-analysis of multiple studies found that massage treatment helped cancer patients manage pain4.

While the studies mentioned  specifically refer to cancer patients, evidence such as that drawn from The Oxytocin Factor as mentioned above indicates that we can potentially generalize this information, and that it may have an application in other facets of life. What I believe is that regular, if possible daily, physical touch will help make you feel better and be happier. Below is are my suggestions for how to add some physical contact to your life, if it is not already part of it.

The best way to do this will be with a good friend, but if you do not have one close by, an open-minded acquaintance may do just as well. There are several different forms of casual physical contact common in our society. We will pick one or two of these and suggest it to our friend. The simplest is a hug. We want our hug to be 30 seconds to a minute long, if possible – though any hug is better than none.

Ask your friend, ‘Hey, I could really use a hug – is it okay if I hug you for a long time, like 30 seconds or a minute?’

If your friend says yes, just hug. Let yourself breathe and relax into the hug. Don’t squeeze too tight – you don’t want to suffocate your friend because that will make future hugs less likely.

Another simple form of contact is a shoulder massage. We would like to shoot for 5 – 10 minutes of gentle shoulder massage, but even a minute is good. If you don’t feel comfortable with a shoulder massage, you could also keep it to just a hand or forearm massage.

Ask your friend ‘Would you like to exchange shoulder massages? Maybe for about 5 minutes each?’

If your friend says yes, give a simple, gentle shoulder massage. For this, we want to be relaxed and not put too much pressure – you don’t want your hands to get tired, or to hurt your friend.

One more possibility is to simply sit back-to-back and try to feel each other breathing. If you can match your breaths to be at the same rate, even better. Again, 5 – 10 minutes is ideal, though even 1 minutes is helpful.

Sit back to back as comfortably as possible. Sitting cross-legged on the floor works well for some people, or putting two chairs next to each other can also work.

Keep your back as straight as possible while staying relaxed – try not to hold yourself too rigid.

You can talk or joke or read or just focus on breathing – the most important is to do your best to simply maintain that contact.

Besides the suggestions above, you can also look into the two websites https://cuddlist.com/ and http://www.cuddleparty.com/

These websites are a means to find a safe environment to experience a positive, non-sexual touch.

These are my personal suggestions – Do you think any of these forms of physical touch would fit into your life? Is there some other way of having a positive contact that would work better for you?

Moberg, K. U. (2003) The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping The Hormone Of Calm, Love, And HealingPinter and Martin, London, UK.

Wikipedia.org – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

Listing, M., Reißhauer, A., Krohn, M., Voigt, B., Tjahono, G., Becker, J., Klapp, B. F. and Rauchfuß, M. (2009), Massage therapy reduces physical discomfort and improves mood disturbances in women with breast cancer. Psycho-Oncology, 18: 1290–1299. doi:10.1002/pon.1508

Lee, S. H., Kim, J. Y., Yeo, S., Kim, S. H., Lim, S. (2015) Meta-Analysis of Massage Therapy on Cancer Pain. Integrative Cancer Therapies 14 (4): 297-304.
DOI: 10.1177/1534735415572885

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Corwin Duncan is a Professional Cuddler trained by Cuddlist and he is based out of Denver, CO.
 

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Feeling Touched Is Feeling Better

Cuddle Therapy: Finding Connection Without Sex

Let’s be honest: we don’t talk about touch nearly enough. Not the sexual kind, but the human kind. The kind that holds your hand when you’re grieving, or wraps around you after a long day. The kind that says, “You’re not alone.”

When we think about intimacy, most of us default to sex. But what if we’ve been missing something? What if comfort, peace, and even happiness could come from closeness that’s completely platonic?

That’s the heart of cuddle therapy—a growing movement offering professional cuddling as a path to healing from loneliness, depression, anxiety, and the everyday ache of disconnection.

Cuddle therapy is exactly what it sounds like: structured, consent-based, non-sexual touch sessions led by trained professionals. It’s not about hooking up. It’s not code for anything else. It’s about showing up, being held, and letting yourself feel safe in someone else’s presence.

“Human connection is the most important thing we have, so how do we help people feel less alone?”

The answer is this: professional cuddling.

Because loneliness is real.

Because touch deprivation hurts more than we like to admit.

Because for those navigating depression, anxiety, trauma, or simply the chronic stress of modern life—being held, gently and respectfully, can be profoundly healing.

Cuddle therapy offers something that even talk therapy can’t always provide: safe, nurturing touch. And that kind of connection? It matters.

Professional cuddlers—called Cuddlists if they are trained and certified by Cuddlist—are compassionate practitioners. Many come from wellness fields: yoga, massage therapy, psychology, energy healing. What they all share is a deep understanding of consent, boundaries, and emotional presence.

Training includes a two week intensive with a mix of online coursework, live zoom classes, paired assigments, and supervision. It’s not just about technique—it’s about presence, ethics, and honoring each person’s need for comfort and connection.

After reading a clear, non-negotiable code of conduct on the Cuddlist website, you search for a cuddler by location. Bios and photos help you find someone who feels like a good fit.

There’s a pre-session screening—maybe a call, maybe an email—to make sure both you and the practitioner are on the same page. Safety and alignment come first.

Then, the session itself:

You meet. You talk. You agree on boundaries. You get comfortable.

And then? You cuddle.

Sometimes that looks like sitting side-by-side. Sometimes it’s lying down in a safe, warm embrace. You can talk—or not. You’re always in control, always respected. Consent is ongoing. Boundaries are honored.

It’s not about fixing. It’s about being. Together.

Many people who seek cuddle therapy are navigating grief, trauma, or life transitions. Some are survivors of sexual assault, learning to trust touch again. Others are older adults who’ve lost partners and are simply missing connection.

And many? They’re just human. Tired. Touched-out parents. Isolated college students. Single folks going through heartbreak. People struggling quietly with anxiety or depression.

Nothing is wrong with you if you crave comfort. You’re not too needy. You’re not failing. You’re just being human in a world that doesn’t always make room for your needs.

Let’s name it: professional cuddling still carries stigma. But it’s no different than any other form of therapeutic care. Remember when people thought acupuncture was weird? Or meditation was for hippies?

Cuddle therapy is walking the same road—toward acceptance, understanding, and, eventually, integration into mainstream wellness care. In fact, the University of San Diego is conducting a study on the emotional and psychological effects of cuddle therapy, measuring shifts in mood, compassion, and emotional resilience before and after sessions.

There’s this quiet shift that can happen as we age—especially after loss. In your 20s or 30s, intimacy often gets tangled up with sex. It’s what we’re taught, what culture models, what relationships seem to revolve around. But later in life—maybe in your 50s, 60s, or beyond—that narrative starts to soften. The ache changes. It’s not about sex anymore, not in the same way. It’s about connection. Honest, human closeness. The kind that doesn’t ask for performance—just presence. 

That’s what cuddle therapy offers: real connection. Real comfort. Real peace.

It’s not about fixing you. It’s not about performance. It’s not even about happiness in the big, Instagrammable sense.

It’s about this quiet truth:
You deserve to be held. Not just metaphorically. Literally.

So if you're feeling isolated, exhausted, or just craving something softer in your life, maybe it's time to rethink what intimacy can look like.

Because healing doesn't always come in big, loud breakthroughs. Sometimes it comes in silence. In stillness. In the gentle rhythm of breath, shared.

Sometimes, healing feels like the hug you knew, deep down, you really needed most. 
 

Professional Cuddling Sees Client Increase During Holidays 

Because sometimes, the season of joy feels more like the season of longing.

Let’s be honest—the holidays aren’t easy for everyone.

While some folks are leaning into family dinners and sparkly traditions, others are navigating grief, loneliness, or complicated dynamics that make “the most wonderful time of the year” feel anything but. For many, this season brings more pressure than peace.

That’s exactly why professional cuddling services like Cuddlist see a noticeable rise in clients around this time of year.

Because when stress ramps up—when expectations feel heavy and connection feels scarce—we crave belonging. We crave presence. We crave touch.

Not sexual, not performative. Just real, compassionate, platonic touch. The kind that says:
You are not alone. You are worthy of care. You can exhale here.

It’s pretty much what it sounds like with a little more depth: trained, certified practitioners offering therapeutic, non-sexual touch in a safe and consent-based setting. Think of it as a reset for your nervous system—especially when the world feels overwhelming.

Cuddlist has helped define the gold standard for this work, offering extensive training to people from wellness-centered backgrounds (like therapists, energy workers, and social service professionals). And because sessions follow a clear code of conduct, you always know what to expect—respect, boundaries, and full-body presence.

Loneliness hits harder. Many people are distanced—physically or emotionally—from loved ones this time of year. while the messaging all around is about togetherness and family. There's a constant reminder of that lack.

Seasonal anxiety rises. Whether it's travel, finances, or fractured family dynamics, the stress is real and the pressure is higher.

Touch gets overlooked. With all the hustle, we forget how deeply healing it can be to simply be held. There's so much emphasis on things and stuff and presents instead of presence. And if the emphasis isn't on buying things it's on romantic connection, which not everyone has access to or wants. 

“I never thought I’d try professional cuddling, but after the holidays last year, I felt so depleted. I booked a session on a whim, and I left feeling human again. It was the first time in months I felt genuinely cared for—without needing to say or do anything special.”

Certified, trained cuddlers who are skilled, compassionate, and affirming

Sessions tailored to your needs—whether that’s gentle holding, mindful conversation, or quiet companionship

A strong emphasis on consent, safety, and trauma-informed care

Accessibility all over the United States—and even internationally in places like Canada, the U.K, and Australia.

You’re not weird. You’re not needy. You’re human.

This work has been featured in The New York Times, Washington Post, Vice, Elite Daily, and more for a reason—people are waking up to the power of therapeutic touch.

The Elite Daily video alone on Cuddlist’s work has reached over 20 million views. That’s not just viral content—that’s a signal. People are ready for something real. Something healing. Something different.

The holidays can bring up a lot. That’s not a failure—it’s a very understandable human experience.

If you’re feeling the weight of it all, you don’t have to go through it alone.

There’s space for you to be held—exactly as you are.

What if this season, your gift to yourself is actually feeling that warm connected holiday glow? What if that feeling was real and not just a line in a song or the plot of a movie? 

Professional Cuddling Sees Client Increase During Holidays

The Healing Power of Touch / Benefits of Nature Therapy

It is no secret that a pat on the back, a peck on the cheek or an embrace with another person can make us feel good. But experts now claim that a touch can do more than comfort – touch can heal!

Our skin is the largest organ of our body and is very responsive and sensitive. Even a gentle touch releases the hormone “oxytocin” – the feel-good hormone – which helps relieve stress, lessen anxiety, depression and creates a sense of happiness and well being.

Improves Mood:  Platonic touch has been proven to release oxytocin in the brain, the feel good hormone, and studies show the giving or receiving of affection in ways such as hugging, cuddling, holding hands, etc. can help us feel better, relieve physical pain, reduce anxiety and instill a sense of calm.

Lowers Blood Pressure:  The feel-good hormone released during physical touch has been proven, over time, to lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart disease.

Reduces Stress:  By having daily physical contact with someone, you can decrease stress, increase relaxation, and improved sleep.

Improves Self-Esteem:  Individuals who are touch deprived are usually less satisfied in their lives and relationships and may suffer from reduced self-esteem.

Improves Sense of Well-Being:  Touch deprivation can leave a person feeling disconnected and lonely from people, and society in general. By engaging in regular physical contact with others, one can significantly increase their overall sense of well-being.

Pеорlе whо hаvе bееn ѕuffеrіng frоm ѕtrеѕѕ, ѕісknеѕѕ and/оr trаumа may find ѕреnding соntеmрlаtіvе tіmе іn nature – the forest, mountains or even gаrdеnѕ – promotes healing, but don’t let yourself be limited by location. Thе bеnеfіtѕ оf nаturе саn аlѕо bе fоund іn уоur соmmunіtіеѕ’ раrkѕ аnd grееn ѕрасеѕ.

Bеіng іn nаturе, оr еvеn vіеwіng ѕсеnеѕ оf nаturе, has been shown the rеduсе аngеr, fеаr and ѕtrеѕѕ. Exposure tо nаturе nоt оnlу mаkеѕ уоu fееl bеttеr emotionally, іt соntrіbutеѕ tо уоur рhуѕісаl wеll-bеіng, rеduсes blооd рrеѕѕurе, hеаrt rаtе, relieves muѕсlе tеnѕіоn and promotes thе рrоduсtіоn оf ѕtrеѕѕ reducing hоrmоnеѕ.

Our every day envіrоnmеntѕ саn іnсrеаѕе оr rеduсе оur ѕtrеѕѕ, whісh, іn turn, іmрасtѕ оur bоdу. Whаt уоu аrе ѕееіng, hеаrіng, еxреrіеnсіng аt аnу mоmеnt іѕ сhаngіng nоt оnlу уоur mооd, but hоw уоur nеrvоuѕ, еndосrіnе, аnd immune systems аrе wоrkіng.

In Jараn, fоrеѕt thеrару, оr ѕhіnrіn-уоku, іѕ ѕtаndаrd рrеvеntаtіvе mеdісіnе. It’ѕ not аbоut bеіng аlоnе іn thе wilderness оr engaging in еxtrеmе оutdооr ѕроrtѕ, іt’ѕ аbоut аllоwіng уоur bоdу аnd рѕусhе tо hаng оut іn thе peace оf thе wооdѕ. It іѕ аlѕо knоwn аѕ fоrеѕt bаthіng, Sреndіng tіmе оutdооrѕ, еѕресіаllу іn a mоuntаіnоuѕ, fоrеѕtеd аrеа nеаr a ѕоurсе оf wаtеr, саn grеаtlу іmрrоvе оnе’ѕ mental, еmоtіоnаl, аnd ѕріrіtuаl health, giving you a chance to rесоnnесt wіth nаturе as well as yourself.   

Hеrе аrе just a few benefits of immersing yourself in nature:

Bооѕtеd іmmunе ѕуѕtеm funсtіоnіng, wіth аn іnсrеаѕе іn thе соunt оf thе bоdу’ѕ Nаturаl Kіllеr (NK) сеllѕ.

Inсrеаѕеd аbіlіtу tо fосuѕ, еvеn in сhіldrеn wіth ADHD

Aссеlеrаtеd recovery frоm ѕurgеrу оr іllnеѕѕ

If уоu mаkе being in nature part of a regular self-care рrасtісе, hеrе are just a few of the results уоu can expect to еxреrіеnсе:

Dеереr аnd сlеаrеr іntuіtіоn

Inсrеаѕеd capacity tо соmmunісаtе wіth thе lаnd аnd its species

Increased flоw оf еrоѕ/lіfе fоrсе

Ovеrаll іnсrеаѕе іn ѕеnѕе оf happiness

As you can see, the healing benefits of physical touch mirror many of the health benefits of nature therapy. Imagine blending the two together into one therapy?

I have, and the possibilities are exciting. So much so, I’ve been hard at work tailoring a session plan to incorporate nature therapy into a cuddle session and I’m eager to test the seemingly bountiful benefits of doing so within the next month or two. Yes, I know it’s cold here in New Jersey, but imagine a gentle stroll through a peaceful winter landscape peppered with hand holding, hugging and cuddling amidst the pine scented forest. Sounds like peace on earth to me.

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Karen is a Professional Cuddler with Cuddlist.com and she is based out of New Jersey(Hunterdon County, NJ / Lebanon and Clinton). Karen is a student member of the National Health Alliance, studying towards a ‘Cuddle Professionals International’ diploma & a sustaining member of the Association of Nature and Forest Therapy Guides and Programs (ANFT). View Karen’s profile and book a session with her here.
  

Years ago, I was in a bad way. My relationship at the time left me feeling lonely in a room full of people. You always hear about single people wanting to be with someone. Some people, being with them doesn’t fill that void you felt when you were single.

It was only years later when I realized that relationship was not only a mentally abusive one but one of skin-hunger. He worked odd hours often going out of town, but even when he was in town, I longed for the feeling of being held, of being loved and desired.

I had a few friends. One or two of them came over often enough they practically lived with us. I learned to depend on them for the sense of companionship that comes with a long term relationship. Even if my partner was not around, I had them, and that would be okay until he got home.

When he was home though, it wasn’t much different. I would beg to be touched, often confusing sex with the desire to be held and needed. Cuddling was not something he would do, so it never occurred to me to desire that. It just wasn’t something we did, which was unfortunate because before this person was in my life I was always into cuddling. I loved sitting on the couch being held or holding.

The relationship ended on a really bad note. I thought I was in a monogamous relationship. I wasn’t. Worse yet, it turned out my best friend was the other woman. I was not only brutally crushed by his dishonesty and the lack of affection that I had received, but I was crushed by her betrayal. I lost not only what I thought was love, but I lost my best friend, all in one fell swoop.

Flash forward a few years and my long time boyfriend and I had been together for a while. Due to all the problems that I went through with the previous boyfriend I was having to work through my issues, but promising to keep my current relationship in tact. I didn’t want another failed relationship and I didn’t want it to be my fault.

It was in all this self-reflection I realized I had become what I despised in my previous partner. I wasn’t affectionate. I didn’t kiss my current boyfriend much. I didn’t hold him or like to be held by him. I was a completely different person from whom I was before my previous relationship. How could someone change me so fundamentally that I was no longer the person I used to be? I had become the person I disliked more than anything.

My boyfriend, now my husband, was a faithfully loving man. He helped me work through my issues. He didn’t deserve not to be held or cuddled. He didn’t deserve not to be loved on and hugged. He stood by though and let me realize on my own what I was doing. He knew me well enough I would eventually figure out everything.

That is when I found Cuddle Party and through it, Cuddlist.com. I vowed then not to allow myself to be the person that my previous relationship had created, but to find my way back to the person I used to be. I wanted to be the cuddle guru that I had been hiding away and I had to work to find her.

It didn’t take long. Researching Cuddle Parties and learning about skin-hunger I was more than happy to get back to who I was. I learned to be affectionate again. I learned people need to be held in a non-sexual way. I even learned that being touched didn’t have to be sexual. These things brought me back into the scope of who I am today.

I am living proof there is life after skin-hunger. I give everything to my clients because of this. I want them to know it isn’t the end. Things will get better. No matter their reason for calling in and getting a hug, a cuddle, a hand holding, etc, it gets better.

It saddens me to hear people say that we are their last hope. They were wanting to call in because they were about to do the unthinkable and take their bright light away from this world. We, the fortunate Cuddlists, have the ability to help and I am so thankful that I am a part of the Cuddlist community. It saved not only my sense of self, but my relationship and in some ways, my life. It brought me back to me.

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Bri Espindola is a Professional Cuddler based out of Dallas, TX. Bri has a degree in Psychology, certified in First Aid and CPR, an intimacy coach and a former massage therapist.

“A session with me is going to be about helping you become the best you that you can be and get what you need out of it. Not only am I a Cuddlist, but I am training to facilitate Cuddle Parties. It is my goal to help those that prefer one on one session, as well as facilitate for those that would prefer the less intimate group environment.”
 

My Story

Building Better Relationships… by Starting with Touch

We talk a lot about communication. Boundaries. Emotional intelligence.

But there’s something even more foundational that often gets overlooked:

Slowing down long enough to feel safe with another person.

Not just mentally—but physiologically. Nervous system to nervous system. Breath to breath. Skin to skin.

This is the heart of professional cuddling.

And if you're someone who wants to grow in relationship (whether with your partner, your friends, or yourself), here are three powerful shifts that begin in a cuddle session, but ripple far beyond it.

We’re not wired to live in constant motion.

Yet most of us are in a chronic state of rushing from task to task, text to text, even from one emotional state to the next without pause.

Platonic touch sessions create a space where you don’t have to hustle for belonging. You just get to be.

In that stillness, something opens. You start to feel your breath. Your body. Your boundaries. Your desire for connection—on your own terms.

Slowing down is not laziness. It’s presence. And presence is where relationship begins.

This may surprise you: cuddling isn’t just comforting. It’s also good for your health.

There’s a growing body of research on how cuddling reduces stress, supports immune function, improves sleep, and lowers blood pressure. Why? Because it signals safety to the nervous system.

And when your body feels safe, you’re more likely to communicate clearly, set healthy boundaries, and show up with kindness—not defensiveness.

So yes, cuddling for anxiety or stress relief can absolutely make you a better friend, partner, or parent. Because regulation is relational.

One of the most beautiful parts of certified cuddle practitioner sessions is this:

You get to practice communication in real time.

A practitioner might ask:
 “How would you like to begin today?”
 “How does this feel?”
 “Would you like to shift positions?”
 “Do you want more space or more closeness?”

And here’s the thing—many people don’t know the answers at first. That’s okay. You're allowed to explore.

This kind of supported experimentation teaches you how to listen to your body, advocate for your needs, and respect someone else's—all without shame.

Touch for emotional healing isn’t about getting it right. It’s about getting curious, together.

A Gentle Challenge (If You’re Up For It)

Next time you’re with someone you care about—pause.

And if they say yes, here’s the twist:
 Don’t let go until they do.

Notice how long it takes. Notice what comes up for you—emotionally, physically, relationally.

This isn’t just about the hug. It’s about trust. Listening. Restorative human connection.

3 Ways Touch Can Improve Your Relationships—And a Challenge to Try Today

Back in 2016, The Washington Post published a thought-provoking article titled “What Professional Cuddlers Can Teach Us About Touch”, and even now, nearly a decade later, its insights feel more relevant than ever.

The article centered around professional cuddler Roxanne Krakowski and her journey into cuddle therapy, which began with a personal sense of emotional and physical disconnect—something many people still experience in our increasingly digital and socially isolated world.

Roxanne shared something deeply personal: that even in her marriage, she felt profoundly alone. Though physically close to her partner, she lacked the one thing her body and mind craved—touch. She described being starved for physical affection, despite sharing a home and a life with someone.

Her healing began when she discovered Cuddle Parties, consent-based touch workshops found all over the country an run by certified Cuddle Party Facilitators . These gatherings provided a safe, structured environment for people to explore non-sexual, nurturing touch—a concept still revolutionary to many.

One of the most poignant moments in the Washington Post piece came at the end of the interview, as Roxanne and the journalist were about to part ways. Roxanne asked the writer, “Do you want a hug?”

The writer agreed—automatically. But Roxanne followed up: “But do you really want one?”

That moment sparked an “Aha!” for the writer. She realized how often we go through the motions of touch without pausing to ask ourselves—or others—what we actually need. This, in essence, is what professional cuddling is all about: being intentional with connection, presence, and consent. It's not about the knee jerk reaction or a socially programmed response. You have to actually care about whether the other person wants a hug in that moment. In order to even notice that we have to slow down and check with ourselves first, not just respond from habit. Professional cuddlers help people do that all the time and it makes all the difference. The process of slowing down, waiting for a genuine responce, and showing that kind of caring transforms how we interact and how those interactions FEEL. They are more meaningful, more deep. They make us feel more connected and that feelings is what combats the lonliness so many of us struggle with.

Beyond the Hug: The Healing Power of Therapeutic Touch

Today, the field of professional cuddling—also called therapeutic cuddling or cuddle therapy—has grown into a respected, client-focused practice. Certified cuddlers, or Cuddlists help clients manage stress, anxiety, loneliness, grief, and even trauma, all through the power of platonic touch.

At Cuddlist.com, where Roxanne is part of our team, we continue to see firsthand how powerful touch can be when it’s safe, consensual, and emotionally grounded.

One of the most powerful parts of any article is the comment section—and the Washington Post piece was no exception. While some readers questioned the “commodification” of intimacy, others offered heartfelt support.

One comment response by a reader named M.C. Otter stood out, and it still resonates today:

“Glad you have all the touch you need in your lives. You’re lucky. I recently did an informal survey of friends. All of them said they wouldn’t date someone with serious depression, or an alcoholic, or someone with chronic immune disorders, or disabled, or PTSD… the list went on.

And yet, it’s okay to shame people who may not be able to find a partner for whatever reason. This is not about cuddling with someone you love vs. cuddling with a stranger. It’s about cuddling with a stranger vs. no human touch at all.”

This quote is a reminder that professional cuddling isn’t about replacing intimacy, but about meeting a very real human need that so many people go without.

The Bigger Picture: Touch Is a Human Need, Not a Luxury

In a post-pandemic world where loneliness and mental health struggles are on the rise, cuddle therapy is more needed than ever. Millions live without consistent physical contact—not because they don’t want it, but because life circumstances, trauma, or health issues make it inaccessible.

And that’s exactly why professional cuddlers exist.

We at Cuddlist have personally witnessed the emotional and physiological transformation that occurs when people receive nurturing, non-sexual touch in a professional setting. It’s not just comforting—it’s profoundly healing.

Final Thoughts: Ask Yourself the Question

When was the last time you truly asked yourself, “Do I want a hug?” Or more importantly—“Do I need one?”

Therapeutic cuddling offers a safe space to explore that need without judgment. Whether you’re seeking comfort, connection, or a deeper understanding of yourself, professional cuddling might be the wellness tool you didn’t know you were missing. 

“What Professional Cuddlers Can Teach Us About Touch”

What Professional Cuddlers Teach Us About the Power of Touch—And Why It Matters Now More Than Ever

Relearning How to Be Held: A Gentle Invitation Back to Touch

Let’s be honest: most of us weren’t taught how to receive touch. Not without expectation. Not without confusion. And definitely not with consent-centered clarity.

Blog

What Professional Cuddlers Teach Us About the Power of Touch—And Why It Matters Now More Than Ever

10 THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM BEING A PROFESSIONAL CUDDLIST

9 Reasons I Love Cuddling

7 Tips to Cuddle Like a Pro

SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE IS A CUDDLE

Feeling Touched Is Feeling Better

Cuddle Therapy: Finding Connection Without Sex

Professional Cuddling Sees Client Increase During Holidays

The Healing Power of Touch / Benefits of Nature Therapy

My Story

Why Professional Cuddling Is Gaining Popularity — And Why It Might Be Worth Paying For

3 Ways Touch Can Improve Your Relationships—And a Challenge to Try Today

Relearning Touch: How Platonic Cuddling Reconnects Us to Ourselves

How Cuddling Before Dating Can Make You a Better Partner

5 Gentle Cuddling Practices That Support Nervous System Healing

What It Really Takes to Be a Certified Cuddlist: 4 Core Qualities That Matter