By: Adam Lippin and Kassandra Brown
When Arun (not his real name) was feeling lonely and touch deprived he didn’t look for a quick hook-up or use a dating site. Instead he connected with a Certified Professional Cuddler through Cuddlist.com. “I have a family at home and a woman I intend to marry.
I’m not looking for sex. But I miss touch. I want to feel good – less lonely and more connected.”
Arun works as a software developer and spends weeks out of every month traveling to different locations. His Cuddlist met with him in his hotel room and they shared an hour of consensual, platonic touch. He started out hesitant but learned to ask for touch that he wants, respect the boundaries of our Code of Conduct, and relax into a state of being held and welcomed just as he is. He left the session feeling amazed that something so simple could feel so complex and so good.
While Arun came to his Cuddlist, feeling lonely, he isn’t alone. The tech industry employs 4% of US workforce, yet 25% of Cuddlist’s Clients work in Tech fields.
Here at Cuddlist we started to wonder why. Why do people in the technologies and sciences seek out touch? What do they get out of it? Could we all benefit by following their example?
When we analyzed our data we found that the tech culture is predominantly men working long hours and having demanding deadlines. They spend most of their time in front of a screen and either may not have many opportunities for socialization or find social situations stressful and incomprehensible.
A high percentage of tech employees are coming from Asian countries and may only be here for a couple of years before returning home to settle down.
The Loneliness Epidemic
Tech is a lonely industry.
When we spend most of our time with computers, we miss out on human touch and connection. More screen time and less social connection tends to create a positive feedback loop. The more we’re on screens, the lonelier we feel. When we don’t feel connected, it’s hard to reach out to date or spend time with friends. So we go online again to games, work, and social media to “feel totally absorbed online” – a state that inevitably subtracts time and energy that could otherwise be spent on social activities and building more fulfilling offline friendships.
We need to break the cycle.
We need a safe way to get our human touch and connection needs met. This is where a Cuddlist session can be both a quick mood elevator and a life-changing wellness choice.
Research shows that loneliness is bad for your health, bad for work relationships, and even worse, that loneliness is contagious. As Dr. Nicholas Christakis told the New York Times “If you’re lonely, you transmit loneliness… There is this cascade of loneliness that causes a disintegration of the social network.”
And while everyone feels lonely once in a while, for some it becomes a persistent condition, one that has been associated with more serious psychological ills like depression, sleep dysfunction, high blood pressure and even an increased risk of dementia in older populations.
Benefits of cuddling/platonic touch especially for tech workers
As Dr. Daniel Yadegar of Cornell Medical College states “Cuddling can improve immunity, enhance mood, and serve as an energetic elixir for all patients, especially those with chronic medical conditions. I recommend everyone get their daily dose!”
When we get our touch needs met we stop giving off the loneliness vibe. We smile more. We see others as possible sources of connection and pleasure rather than guarding ourselves against embarrassment or hurt.
As we learn the skills of asking for what we want and setting clear boundaries in a Cuddlist session we engage with consent and integrity from a place of fullness rather than neediness.
A Cuddlist session is a practice intensive for learning social skills. We set a clear and simple container with stated expectations and agreements.
The most important agreement is “I agree not to do anything I’m uncomfortable with at any time during our Cuddle.” And you agree to do that same.
We practice skills that help you speak up and notice your feelings. We can go free-form or practice games that help us say “yes, no, and I changed my mind.” There are many ways to learn the skills of touch and social interaction.
Many of us didn’t learn these skills as children and now feel lonely and awkward.
Time with a Cuddlist can be an investment that makes the next meeting or party much easier to navigate. You’ll experience less stress and more cooperation, less aggression and more teamwork.
And that’s a worthwhile investment for both the individual and the company.
Think you could provide touch to others?
Why not join our movement with over 100 cuddlists throughout the country, and make money while doing something you love.
Start your journey in becoming a Certified Professional Cuddler HERE